


Vulnerability

by nd7878



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Personal Growth, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nd7878/pseuds/nd7878
Summary: Catra knows she's not great at being vulnerable. She's spent a lot of her life developing defense mechanisms and looking out for herself. After the war, though, she knows that has to change, so she reaches out to the Princess who offered her help before.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 141





	Vulnerability

Catra let the leaves crackle under her feet as she traversed the Whispering Woods, walking like a 'normal person' instead of taking to the branches and shadows. One step at a time. People didn't like… well, people didn't like _her,_ generally speaking, especially in the new Bright Moon, but people especially didn't like her sneaking up on them and/or dropping onto them from the canopy.

In other circumstances, that would end up being a source of amusement for her. Scaring Princesses? Always a good time. There wasn't a time in her recent memory where scaring a Princess didn't make her laugh; it was really just part of her nature.

' _When was the last time I scared Glimmer?'_ Catra's mind wandered, but she shook her head.

Not the point. Staying out of the shadows, letting her footsteps announce her presence, and _not_ scaring a Princess were all components in a larger goal: being vulnerable.

She almost gagged when the idea first popped up. But… Adora believed in her. Glimmer and Bow were- no, they _called her_ their friend. They could be lying for Adora's sake, sure, but they seemed earnest enough. Adora… no, everyone that gave her a chance deserved _something_ from her in return. Some sort of effort, even if it felt like she was pulling her own claws out.

The Whispering Woods caused her hair to stand on end in the best of cases, but the spattering of pink, yellow, and white flowers that started to weave between the cooler tones let her know that she was on the right track. Unfortunately, that just changed the sources of her anxiety.

Of all the Princesses, Perfuma had the strongest smell. It was sickeningly sweet (and, frankly, had given away the Princesses' position more than a couple of times when they were… at odds), but now, in peacetime, it churned Catra's stomach even worse than before.

That little bit of Scorpia's smell that mixed in with it didn't help.

Catra pulled her arms tighter around herself. If _this_ conversation was already causing her so much trouble, that one would be… she didn't even want to think about it.

She kept her eyes down as she walked, trying not to step on any of the flowers, but it got to a point where there were nothing _but_ flowers to step on. She considered again bounding into the treetops (and maybe just going home), but looking up to scan for escape branches made her realize that she was already partway into Perfuma's clearing.

On instinct, she took a few steps back. The Princess was deep in some kind of meditative trance (or whatever) and facing away from her. She could just… keep backing up… go back to Adora's room… get some kisses in…

A _very_ enticing alternative to direct confrontation with the Princess who arguably hated her guts the most.

' _She_ doesn't _hate you, you idiot!'_ she thought, the rational side of her mind trying yet again to reign in her emotions. _'This is the "through the magic of friendship!" Princess! She offered to meditate with you! That means something, right? Why can't you just accept people being kind to you? Are you really going to sabotage yourself again?! Do you really hate yourself that-'_

"Umm… Catra?"

Catra yelped and, like the epitome of grace she knew and claimed she was, leapt ten feet straight up into the branches. Perfuma flinched at the sudden movement, but by the time Catra's sense returned to her, the Princess was looking up at her with concern.

They stared at each other for a solid five seconds in complete silence before Catra lightly dropped back to the flowery clearing and nodded to Perfuma. "H-hey, Perfuma. Nice… flowers."

"Thank you?" Perfuma's eyebrow quirked in confusion, but she smiled nonetheless. "What can I help you with?"

"Umm…" Catra bit down four different lies, five quips about flora and meditation, and a particularly well-constructed and pre-planned excuse about how Adora was gathering the Princesses for a sleepover (that would definitely give Catra a couple hours before people started figuring it out). "So, I- uh, I mean, Adora said that… I… I'm trying to do some… self… improvement…."

"Oh, self-improvement! How delightful! These woods are absolutely wonderful for medita-" Perfuma halted mid-sentence and her eyes started _sparkling._

' _Oh no.'_

Perfuma practically lunged forwards to grab Catra's hands in hers. "No. Way! You're here to take me up on my offer! Wow, I never thought this day would come!" She pulled Catra into a hug strong enough to rival Scorpia's.

"W-wait, no, let me-" Catra struggled and squirmed. Why was the Princess built like a twig so _strong?_

"I was so scared that you would never address your deep-rooted insecurities, anger, and abandonment issues!"

Catra pushed out of the hug, so many defense mechanisms triggering all at once that she didn't know what else to do. "Okay, nope, uh-uh, I'm gonna stop you right there, pfft, I don't have…"

' _Shut up, you DEFINITELY have all of those things.'_

… at some point, Catra would address how hostile her internal voice was towards her. Eventually.

Despite her protests, Perfuma continued. "Scorpia and I had a full fourteen-point plan to help you get you here, so the fact that you're coming to me is…. Amazing! We can make so much progress!"

Catra's ears perked up. "Fourteen points?!"

Perfuma nodded. "You have a _lot_ of layers."

Catra ran a hand through her short hair and snapped, "W-well, what do you know? I have just the right amount of layers…"

"Oh, Catra, it's-"

The ex-Horde soldier swatted at Perfuma's hands as they tried to find purchase on her shoulders. "Nope! No shoulder-touching! I can deal with hugs, but Horde Prime and his creepy army of clones really had a thing for grabbing my shoulders so let's not do that!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Catra's stomach dropped. Not only did she have to deal with the memories of that absolute psychopath, she'd just… she remembered to sheath her claws, right? She looked up at Perfuma, expecting to see fear, disdain, or in the worst case, blood, but Perfuma was… smiling? She pulled back and held her hands up, twisting them to show that Catra hadn't cut her.

"We will work on your violent streak, but this is a good start! Setting and respecting boundaries is an important part of developing healthy relationships! Here, come with me."

Perfuma led Catra further into the sunlit clearing and motioned for her to sit down. Catra waited until the other girl sat cross-legged before joining her, pulling her legs to her chest and wrapping her tail close.

"So, where would you like to start?" Perfuma folded her hands in her lap and watched Catra expectantly. Warm orange light poured in through the canopy, a tranquil heat that made her, in spite of herself, release just a little bit of the tension she held in her shoulders.

Oh, a nap sounded divine right now. Just going to sleep, ignoring all of this personal growth stuff and instead just… disappearing. She'd done her good deed, saved the world, she'd redeemed herself already! There was no need for all of-

"Perfuma to Catra? Helloooo?"

"I was thinking!" Catra snapped, hoping her fur hid her blush.

"Which is okay," Perfuma said, "but you have a lot of negative energy in you."

"Yes, I know, I'm-"

"Like, I haven't felt so much inner turmoil or conflict from any other creature on Etheria."

"Okay, that's a bit ha-"

"You're a singularity of pure negative feelings and I honestly have to reset my personal harmony every time I spend more than ten minutes in close proximity to you."

"EXCUSE ME!" Catra shot up. "I GUESS I'LL JUST LEAVE IF I'M CAUSING YOU SO MUCH GRIEF, SHEESH!"

"No no no, wait, stop!"

With some effort, Perfuma managed to coax Catra back.

"My apologies. Let's get to the root of the matter. What would you like to do?"

Catra hummed, resting her chin on her arms in thought. "Well, when you ask it like that… I guess, be, I don't know, better?"

Perfuma nodded. "Self-improvement is a wonderful thing, and wanting to improve yourself is the first step in doing it." She hummed as well, pressing a finger to her chin. "Let's focus on one thing for today. How do you feel right now?"

"... stupid?"

"Vulnerability can make one feel like that, yes." Perfuma clapped her hands and grinned. "Do you remember what I said about leaving your heart open?"

Catra thought back to that night after their failed Fright Zone mission. "... 'you have to believe it's worth it,' right?"

"Yes! I want you to keep that in mind as we go through this. Vulnerability feels weak and stupid sometimes, but if you believe it's worth it, and you believe me when I say I want to help you, then I promise it will pay off. Trust me."

Those words sent a shiver down Catra's spine. Trust Perfuma? The same person whose village she attacked? One of the Princesses she fought a way against? The person closest to Scorpia right now, who knew _everything_ she did to her? There was no reason for Perfuma to have any goodwill towards her, so how could she _trust_ her?

Catra looked around the clearing. Dense foliage and various flora surrounded her, with Perfuma at the epicenter. Perfuma had to reason to even want Catra to stick around. If Catra lowered her guard to meditate, what would stop the Princess from just… getting rid of her? She could just go back and tell Adora 'Welp, Catra's abandonment issues got out of hand so she left before you could leave her ag-'

' _NOPE! Stop, idiot. Adora's staying, she promised. You've been able to kind of trust Glimmer and Bow too, right? Even if you only kind of trust Perfuma, that should be enough to believe she won't_ kill _you, right?'_

"... right. I, erm… trust you, I guess."

* * *

"Let's begin. Find a comfortable position, either seated or lying down, and close your eyes."

Catra watched Perfuma take a meditative pose, legs crossed and arms resting on her knees. The Princess closed her eyes ( _'How will she know if I'm doing it or not, then?'_ ) and, after a brief moment of debate, Catra relaxed her shoulders a little bit and closed her eyes as well. She let her knees drop from her chest, but kept her arms wrapped around herself.

"Eyes, closed. What's next?"

Perfuma chuckled. "This is a space free of judgement. Use my words to guide you, but keep your focus inwards. This is your time."

Catra bit back a 'Right, okay' and waited for her to continue.

"Take a slow deep breath in and hold it for a moment."

Catra did as she was told, syncing up with Perfuma. She resisted the urge to crack and eye open and watch the Princess, to make sure she was doing this whole breathing thing right. Perfuma smelled _so_ strongly of nature that her nose crinkled- maybe she'd just take shallow breaths from now on. Was breathing in through her mouth okay?

"... now breathe out, slowly, and let the tension leave your body."

Catra breathed out, letting her shoulders fall just a little as the air left her. She wasn't relaxed, though- closing her eyes wasn't relaxing, why would she ever close her eyes around anyone? Her ears perked up and swiveled at every tiny sound, listening for any indication of Perfuma moving or getting up or _somehow_ taking advantage of her vulnerable state.

She felt her jaw tighten. _'Congratulations, me, you already failed at meditating.'_

"Now take another breath, same as before. Hold and release on your own time."

Catra breathed in, but she had tightened the grip of her arms around her at some point and couldn't get a breath as deep as before. Her cycle was completed before Perfuma even started exhaling, so she listened to the Princess- the calm, serene Perfuma, fully in-touch with herself.

' _What's even the point of this? I'm fine. I don't need this, I don't need help, I'm fine. If I just keep my distance from the Princesses, just become "Adora's girlfriend"-'_

The other voice in her bit back. _'NO. You're_ not _running away from this! Adora doesn't need you to be 'Adora's girlfriend,' she needs you to be Catra!'_

"One more time."

' _She needs you to be your own person. It's your job to make amends for all the terrible stuff you did, so don't run away again!'_

Catra's claws dug into the sides of her arms. She could feel herself trembling. _'How am I supposed to make amends for any of this?! Adora still has scars on her back from my claws! I activated the portal and basically killed Glimmer's mom! I led the attack that destroyed Salineas! I… everything with Scorpia, all that I said to her, I don't…'_

"I don't deserve this." Her voice was barely a whisper, punctuated by a sniffle at the end.

In many other, similar situations, Catra would have run away or lashed out immediately; if she was with Adora, she would've thrown a few jokes before going off on her own. The instinct was still there, she wanted nothing more than to jump into the woods and leave Perfuma here alone, but… she was so tired. In this singular moment, the weight of all of the emotional turmoil left her completely and utterly drained.

So she pulled her legs to her chest and rested her head on her knees while Perfuma finished her third listened to the Princess lean back on her hands, presumably looking at her.

Perfuma hummed in thought. "I'm not sure 'deserving' has anything to do with it. You asked for help and I'm giving it."

"Why?!" Catra snarled, jumping to her feet and glaring at Perfuma. "I get you're some hyper-kind flower girl, but seriously! Why are you helping me?! I'm _not a good person_!"

But her voice lacked the usual edge, her posture the usual power. She felt small and weak and scared, flinching back as Perfuma stood. "I know you only tolerate me because of Adora!"

Perfuma frowned and took a step forward. "Catra, that's not-"

"Screw you!" she stepped back. "Stop lying! If you don't like me, act like it! You and Scorpia and the other Princesses keep acting like there's nothing wrong with this; at least let me know where I st-"

"Catra!" Perfuma snapped. Catra froze in place at the sudden harshness, muscles tense. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Why not?!" Catra tensed further as Perfuma closed the distance between them, but didn't move.

Perfuma held her arms up, still moving closer. "Because I want to see you succeed. Scorpia, too. We both want you to be happy. May I?"

They were close now. Catra seriously considered running, much more seriously than the times before, but after a beat nodded ever-so-slightly. Perfuma's arms wrapped around her with a kind of gentleness she'd rarely received, something that she couldn't help but to relax into.

"You've made bad choices, yes, but that does not make you any less capable of being good. There's a fear that comes with being open with others, especially people you've wronged in the past."

Catra shuddered in her arms.

"But those people can forgive you. Adora did. So did Glimmer and Bow. So do I. I know you're scared, and that you think you don't deserve this," she soothed, "but I want you to do your best to trust me. Trust that you can be forgiven, Catra."

"I-" Catra's voice caught in her throat. She tried to compose herself, taking a few shaky breaths and blinking back the tears that threatened to form. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Catra. It's okay. You're forgiven."

Those words drove deep into her heart, breaking through one of her many outer shells in one fell swoop. Her tears didn't come from fear or anger, but a novel feeling of relief that there was a place for her to rebuild. A sob broke through, but a pulling sensation at her lips let Catra know that she was smiling.

For the first time in a long time, Catra's fear subsided, if just for a little bit.

* * *

 **A/N:** Wow. Season 5, huh? What an amazing show. I'm still reeling, I was legitimately up at 5am on the night it dropped bawling. Anyone involved in making this remake a thing have my most genuine and heartfelt thanks.

ANYWAYS. It's been a while since I've had so much _energy_ from a show that I just had to put it into something. I always interpreted Catra as a character with a lot of fear in her, or at least related to her on that level, and really wanted to draw on that. Receiving kindness can be scary sometimes, and Perfuma is um, kindness incarnate, so that was a dynamic I wanted to explore. Peace is difficult when anxiety and fear take hold. Aimee Carrero said that she hoped these characters' stories would be 'so boring no one would ever have anything to write about' (paraphrased), so... it's just people talking. Because they deserve something calm like that.

Also, this story idea was inspired by @kg_nonameh's tweet and art.

Smaller note: I'm kind of getting a twitter going? Not sure how much I'll use it, but the at is @nd78781. We'll see where that goes.


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